Drunken Acts
by KKeeper808
Summary: Ziris just wants Brnyjolf to talk to her, but he won't give her the time of day. So Delvin decides "jobs!" And everyone knows Delvin's the best when it comes to relationships.
1. Chapter 1

**So I wrote this, and uh, I realized that I don't have any Skyrim stuff on here. And I was like, "The fuck is wrong with you? Skyrim is fucking amazing." So I decided that I would put this up for shits and giggles.**

**Featuring my Nord thief Ziris and her attempts to get Brynjolf to talk to her. **

**Also, if there's weird formatting in this, it's because FanFiction's Doc Manager is being crazy and screwed with it. Not blaming anything, it's just different from what I'm used to. **

**Enjoy.**

**P.S- I really want to see Brynjolf drunk. Just sayin'.**

* * *

"Hey lass. How about you pull up a seat and have a drink?" Delvin suggests, gesturing to the chair across from him. Ziris sighs, but plunks down anyway, gesturing to Vekel. He comes over to her with a mug of mead, and she hands him a few coins she pulls from her pocket. Delvin watches this exchange, noting the face that Ziris was wearing. "What's that look for?"

She grunts, looking down at the mead in the tankard, her nose wrinkling. "It's Brynjolf. He's refusing to talk to me, and I don't know why."

Delvin smiles a bit at her words, leaning back in his chair, perfecting aware of where this was going. "Z, Bryn isn't _refusing_; he's just been too busy to talk much while he's taking care of the Guild. You know you can't take on full responsibility until all the holds accept the Guild having a foothold there. If you do that, you'll get the responsibilities keeping Brynjolf busy, and he'll talk to you again."

Ziris lifts her gray eyes to look at him, a bit of light barely visible within the pupils. "You really think so?"

"Guarantee it," Delvin replies.

"Then what are we waiting for? Give me a job! Fishing, bedlam, whatever!" she cries, leaning towards him. Delvin grins again.

"Well, there is something over in Whiterun, if you're up for it," he comments.

Ziris slams her hand down on the table. "I'm up for anything!"

(*)

Ziris sneaks down the dark street of Whiterun towards the Market Place. The clouded moon over her head made it hard for anyone to see her, but she could see perfectly, a gift from Nocturnal that she was more than grateful for. Her boots kept her silent as she walked along, keeping to the even darker shadows near the houses. Peeking around one, she spots two guards coming up to one another. "Dark night, eh?" one says.

"Aye. I hate having the midnight shift. Who knows what could be sneaking around in the shadows?" the other replies.

Ziris chuckles silently to herself and moves to the other side of the house, being careful near the windows, scooting gingerly past them and scurrying to another to conceal her once more. She was close to the stalls now; she could practically taste the coin in the strong boxes. Barely pausing, she hurries to one and ducks behind it before the guard nearby can even take another step. With a breath of relief, she silently pulls a lock pick from her pouch and unsheathes her dagger, setting to work on the lock on the sliding door. It was easy enough, and she finches at the sound of the lock opening, but she releases her breath and opens the door.

The strong box was locked, of course, and she groans inwardly, but still puts the pick in there and starts on it, glancing up every now and again to make sure the guards weren't approaching. As she was taking out the gold from inside, something catches her eye, and she turns her head to see a shiny goblet sitting on the stall next to her. Quickly pocketing the gold, she dashes to a rock between the two stalls, looking around for the guards. In one quick more, she hurries up to the stall and reaches for the goblet, another hand reaching for it at the same time.

As a reaction, Ziris slices the hand with her dagger, opening a cut, which causes the hand to draw back, allowing her to grab the goblet and slide it into her bag. Without looking back, she scampers back to the house she was previously hiding behind. A muffled hiss sounds from the shadows near the stall, and she glances over her shoulder to see the last person she expected crouched by the stall. "Brynjolf?"

With a groan, she hurries back over to the stall, quickly pushing the red-headed Nord onto the ground. "What in the name of the Divines are you doing here?" she growls.

"What do you mean, what am I doing here? I'm here to steal that goblet you took, lass. Why are _you_ here?" he asks, nursing the cut hand with the other.

With a sigh, Ziris pulls out a bandage from her bag, and takes Brynjolf's hand. She starts to wrap it, while speaking. "Delvin gave me a bedlam job. I know I'm supposed to steal merchandise, but I couldn't keep myself from taking the Septims too. I figured the goblet would be about half, and I would steal a dagger or something from the forge. But I guess you can have your cup back."

Finished with wrapping his hand, she reaches into her bag once more and pulls out the golden cup, handing it to him. "Now I gotta go find some other things to steal. You need to get out of here before-"

"Well, well, well. What have we here? A rat, and a mouse." Ziris grimaces, and then gingerly looks over her shoulder to see a guard standing there, his sword drawn. With a sigh, she stands up, a smile drawn on her face to look as innocent as possible.

"Good evening guardsman. I'm sure you're wondering what we're doing here, so late at night, yes?" she asks. The guard simply crosses his arms, waiting. "Well, uh… uhm… this is going to sound really bad… but uh-" As Ziris struggles for words, Brynjolf pulls himself to his feet and slings an arm over her shoulders, a goofy smile on his face.

In a slurred tone he says, "Don't worry about a thing, guardie. I'm just makin' sure the little lady gets back to Breezehome safely." He leans close to the guard and whispers loudly, "You know how _women_ are. Drinking and such. You can't trust 'em by themselves."

The guard appears taken aback by Brynjolf's actions and speech, and he turns to Ziris, a question in his voice. "Are you taking him home, miss? Do you need any help?"

Intensely relieved that Brynjolf's show had worked, the thief shakes her head, pulling the Nord away from the guard and replacing his arm over her shoulder. "No, I'll be fine. This happens all the time. Come on Hainin. It's time to get you home."

"Right! Time to get you home," Bryn gurgles, his ton suddenly sounding very sleepy, and he releases a wide yawn for emphasis. Ziris smiles apologetically to the guard once more.

"I really am sorry. Have a nice night."

"You too, miss. And make sure he gets some water," The guard says, starting to walk away.

"Right. Thank you," Ziris calls, leading Brynjolf in the direction of Breezehome, glancing over her shoulder towards the guard. As soon as he is out of sight, she removes Bryn's arm from her shoulders and he moves away, composure regained. "That was quick thinking, Bryn. You're quite the actor."

He shrugs. "Yeah, you learn a few things when your life depends on it." He chuckles a bit, and then clears his throat. "I should probably be getting back to Riften."

"Yeah, that's probably something that should happen. I still have stuff to steal," Ziris replies, removing her Guild hood and brushing her hair back before putting it back on again. Bryn's eyes never left her, and she looks up at him. "What?"

"I didn't know you had dark hair. Has it always been that color?" he asks, apparently awed. She furrows her brows.

"Yes… I thought you knew. Well, I guess you learn something every day, don't you?" With that, she climbs up the side of the house they were behind, reaches the roof, grins down at him, and disappears. Brynjolf remains watching where she had previously been, his head tilted to one side.

"Yeah, I suppose you do."

* * *

**So that's that. If any of y'all want more, feel free to ask. Maybe I'll write one about my assassin or Companion next. Leave suggestions if you like! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Yeah! People wanted more! Well, one person did. And I was like, "Meh, why not?" So, I think I'm gonna have another chapter after this one, and then it'll be over. Wow, a simply one-shot turns into a three chaptered story. **

**I don't think chaptered is a word.**

**Well**

**I dun don't give a didly doodly fuck. **

* * *

"So, how did it go?" Delvin asks a few day later. Ziris had returned from Whiterun the night before, just a day after Brynjolf, and she sighs, plunking down in a chair at the same table in the Flagon. She pulls a pile of merchandise from her bag and pushes it towards him.

"How did it go? Well, we went for the same thing, I cut his hand, he played drunk, commented on my hair color, and that was about it. How do you think it went, Del?"

Delvin shakes his head and pushes the stolen items back towards her. "Did you even try to talk to him?"

"Well, I felt bad after I cut his hand open with a dagger, so I guess I did. When I was apologizing," she replies.

Delvin raises an eyebrow. "Did you actually apologize?"

Ziris looks down at the table, tracing a scar in the wood with her finger. "Well… maybe. I don't really remember."

"Darlin', you need to try harder. I practically gift wrapped him for you," the thief across from her says with another shake of his head.

"You sent him to Whiterun?" Ziris exclaims, causing Vex to raise her head, as well as Vekel to look up from cleaning the bar. Ziris waves them off and lowers her voice. "Why did you do that?"

"You asked me to do somethin', so I did. I do what people ask of me," he answers simply, leaning back in his chair.

Ziris glares at him for a moment, and then pushes away from the table, standing up and heading towards the doors to the Cistern. Delvin watches her go for a moment before calling, "Where you going, lass?"

"I need to take walk," she calls over her shoulder before walking through the storage closet towards the Cistern. As she exited through the door, she heard someone say her name, and glanced over her shoulder to see Brynjolf leaning against the wall. She stops walking so he can join her in the center of the room. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to ask you if you completed the job," he said, her heart dropping as he finished speaking. _What did I expect him to say? I love you?_

She merely smiles and says, "Yeah, I did. Don't worry about it."

He nods, and glances down at the ground. "Where you going?" he asks after a moment.

"Oh, just for a walk. I need some fresh air," she replies, glancing over her shoulder towards the secret entrance.

Brynjolf nods, and kicks at the stonework under his foot. "Uh, do you mind if I join you? Fresh air does sound really good."

Ziris blinks in surprise, but nods. "Y-Yeah. Of course."

"Cool."

Ziris leads the way to the ladder and climbed up after Brynjolf dips his head to her. Reaching the top, she crouches near the hole and helps Brynjolf out. Before they leave the grave that hides the entrance, Bryn pulls on the chain that closes the coffin, hiding the Cistern entrance from view. "So, where do you want to go?" Ziris asks.

"Just lead the way," Brynjolf replies. Ziris thinks for a moment, and then grins.

"You wanna see something cool?"

Bryn's eyes widen, and she grabs his hand. "Where are we going, lass?"

"Just trust me."

"Isn't this beautiful?" Ziris breaths, gazing out over the water. Brynjolf nods from beside her, his eyes wide in amazement.

"I can't believe I never thought of coming up here before. How'd you think of it?"

The female thief shrugs, wrapping her arms around her legs, passing Brynjolf the bottle of mead she had stashed on the roof of the Honorhall Orphanage after taking a long swig. "I was just… up here by chance, I guess. I was trying to get away from the guards, and I climbed up the side of the Orphanage and… this." She gestures to the setting sun over the lake, and Bryn shakes his head.

"It's gorgeous." His eyes dart to her, and she turns to look at him, smiling. "It's not the only thing."

Ziris pretends to be annoyed. "Yeah, I know. Vex is really beautiful. The bitch."

Brynjolf grins, and tosses the bottle off to the side after finishing it before reaching over to grab her hand. "You're a horrible actor."

She raises her eyebrows in his direction. "Oh yeah? Well, maybe I should take some lessons."

"Maybe you should," he teases, pulling her closer to him over the tiles on the roof.

"Hmm, will they cost me anything? I don't know if acting lessons are worth the money…" she comments, allowing him to draw her onto his lap.

"Mm, I suppose the first trial can be free, but if you wish to keep going, I'm going to charge you," Bryn replies. "But trust me, it'll be worth the money."

"It better be, thief," she murmurs, putting her lips to his. They stayed like that for several moments, until she draws away, and looks at him. "You taste like berries."

"It's the mead," he whispers.

"Do I have to pay for more lessons?" she asks quietly.

He pulls her back towards him. "Nah. Teaching you is profit enough."

* * *

**Oh yeah. I forgot to mention drunken kisses happen.**

**Whoops.**


	3. Chapter 3

**And this is the last chapter! The ending is gonna suck, just a forewarning. **

**I got nothing to rant about today, so let's just get right into it. **

* * *

Ziris blinked first one eye, and then the other, open in the bright sunlight. With a groan, she rolls over onto her back, shielding her face from the sun. "What in Nocturnal…?" Her head was pounding, and she puts her free hand to it, rubbing the area over her eyebrow, where the pain was the worst. That's when she noticed her hood was gone.

And so was the rest of her armor.

And the fact that she wasn't alone.

"Oh… by the Eight…" she gasps, sitting up, which quickens the pounding in her skull. Slowly, she turns to her right, fully aware now of what she was going to see, groaning inwardly when she saw she was right.

Brynjolf, his armor also discarded, was fast asleep on the roof tiles, stretched out with his bare arm behind his head, fully exposed. Ziris bites her lip, slightly embarrassed, but also slightly aloof as she realizes what had happened between the two of them the evening before. "I had a one night stand with Brynjolf. Great."

Her words must have aroused him, because Brynjolf coughs, and blinks open his eyes, which are bleary from hang-over. They rest on her, and he closes one eye. "Lass? Is that you?"

Deciding not to say anything, Ziris silently reaches for her armor, which had been tossed in a pile down the roof away, and slips into it, sliding her boots on, and then her gloves, and finally her hood, before gently jumping off the rooftop into the lake below.

Up on the roof, Bryn had fully awakened, and sits up, more used to the after effects of mead than most. He looks around, an eyebrow raising when he realized he was alone. "What happened last night?"

(*)

"Delvin!" Ziris shrieks, running towards the Flagon after descending the ladder into the Cistern. Delvin was sitting at the bar, a bowl of stew left over from the day before in front of him, and his head raises at her scream. She runs into the room, out of breath, and hurries over to him.

"Z? What's going on? You and Brynjolf disappeared last night. What happened?" he asks, eighty questions coming out at once. Ziris grabs his arm and drags him away from the bar towards the storage closet, shutting the false back behind her. Delvin yanks away from her and huffs. "What's wrong?"

Ziris bites her lip again, and looks down at the floor. "I uh… went to bed with Brynjolf." Her voice lowers to barely a whisper, and Delvin stares at her incredulously.

"What?"

"I. Went. To bed. With. Brynjolf," she hisses through clenched teeth.

"You went t- Oh, lass. Don't tell me that. You didn't really, did you?" Delvin asks. Ziris only nods, and the older thief falls back against the wall, a blank look crossing his face. "How?"

"We were drunk… It just happened, Del. I don't know why, or how, but it did! And I'm so scared!" she cries, crossing her arms over her chest and started to sob. Delvin shakes his head to clear his thoughts and walks over to her, pulling her in a hug.

"Shh, you don't need to be. This isn't a bad thing."

"Yes it is! What do you think is gonna happen, Delvin? He wakes up, he's naked, and he remembers he was with me… It won't be hard to put the pieces together!"

Delvin was about to respond, but the sound of a door opening somewhere causes him to stop. "Delvin?" Ziris literally went stiff in his hold as they heard Brynjolf's questioning voice on the other side of the door leading to the Cistern. The Nord thief pulled away from the Imperial and put a finger to her lips before she scaled the wall and disappeared. Delvin's eyes were about to follow the wall upwards to see where she had hid herself, but the door opened, revealing a very confused Brynjolf, one glove off and in his hand.

"Good morning, ole' pal! What's up?"

Brynjolf begins to slide the glove onto his hand, his eyes drifting around the small space. "I uh… I woke up on the roof of the Orphanage this morning."

At this, Delvin blinks. The roof of the Orphanage? The two had really done it, hadn't they? "Why in Nocturnal's name were you on the roof?"

Bryn clears his throat and lets his eyes focus on the bald man before him. "I uh- I have a pretty good idea why, but I need to talk to uhm… someone about it. But, why were you in here?"

Delvin waves his hand. "Oh, I heard you call me, and I was comin' to meet ya, but you made it here before I made it into the Cistern. Listen, I ain't gonna pry, but whenever you find this "someone", I want the whole story, alright?" Brynjolf nods, and Delvin pats his shoulder before pushing him towards the Flagon. Once the storage closet had closed, Ziris drops down from the ceiling, landing on all fours. Delvin watches this in surprise. "That's a neat trick. You'll have to teach it too me sometime."

She shakes her head and leans closer. "Later. Right now, I need you to stall Brynjolf so I can get out of here."

"What, you're gonna leave? But-"

"Shush, Del. I need you with me on this. You can't be playing both sides this time. I'm leaving Riften, and I'm gonna go to Whiterun for a while, alright? Just until my embarrassment dies down. And I need you to promise me that you will not tell Bryn where I went."

Delvin stares at her for a solid minutes before he shakes his head. "I'm not going to lie to you. If Brynjolf asks me where you went, I'm going to tell him. I can't lie to either of you. I may be the master of sneaking, but I'm not the master of lying."

Ziris sighs and steps away from the Imperial thief. "Whatever, Delvin. Tell him if you want." With that, she hurries through the Cistern door, leaving Delvin starring at it after her. Before he can even move, Brynjolf bursts through the storage closet.

"Where'd she go?"

Delvin merely points towards the Cistern before Brynjolf is gone. Delvin shakes his head. "Sometimes I wonder what I get myself into."

(*)

"Lass!" Ziris' heart stops as Brynjolf's voice reaches her, but she doesn't stop walking, hoping he'd walk away if she acted like she didn't know he was there.

Wrong.

Brynjolf catches up to her before she had walked five more feet, and he grabs her arm. "Lass, will you stop, please? I just want to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," she replies, pulling her arm away.

"Ziris…"

"No, Bryn. There's nothing to talk about. It happened, and that's it. Why dwell on it?" He stares at her, and she continues. "It was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened at all."

She starts to walk away again, but what Brynjolf says next stops her, "But what if it wasn't? What if I wanted it to happen?"

Ziris turns to look at him, suddenly angry. Storming over to him, she slams him against the stone wall and hisses, "Why do you do this to me, huh? Why tell me what I want to hear, if you don't mean it?"

"Who says I don't mean it?" Bryn exclaims, starring at her with narrowed green eyes.

"No one needs to say it, Brynjolf! It's so obvious! You stop talking to me for three months, and only start again because you needed to in order to keep us out of jail. So why don't we just forget what happened this week, and go back to you ignoring me?" she growls.

In response, Brynjolf leans forward and pushes his lips against hers. Ziris blinked, but realized that normal kisses from Brynjolf were much better and realer than drunken ones, and her eyes shut, pressing herself against the Nord thief.

They stayed that way for a long while, until she finally pulls away. Brynjolf grins at her. "You don't need to be so damn defensive all the time."

"Yes I do, or things like that would happen more often," she mutters.

"So you don't want them to happen? I think you're the one who needs to stop telling me what I want to hear," he replies.

"Yeah, that's probably something that should happen," she says, releasing him from his trap against the wall.

"Do you still want those lessons?" Bryn asks, following her towards the secret entrance. Ziris glances over her shoulder with a grin.

"Only for free."

* * *

**Told ya the end would suck! **

**Anyhoo, I found a cool meme on DeviantArt that I wanted to do, but since I can't draw for jack shit, I decided I would answer the questions in a story/writing thing! Yeah! So I'm gonna do it for each of my three Dragonborns', with my Companion first, followed by Ziris and my assassin. Sound good? **

**It'll all be one story, with a new chapter each day. I already wrote them, so it'll be a new chapter everyday. I swear.**

**Thanksgiving Break man. It's pretty good. **

**Love you guys!**

**I'm outtie five thousand!**


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